Lessons Learned....

As my time here in Spain comes to a close in the next week or so, I thought I should take some time to reflect on ways I've changed and things I've learned - especially after talking with many of you about my return to the States and how things are going to be a bit different. So, here are some ways that I can realize I've changed. Spain friends - some of you can take credit for these changes, as you already know!

1. Sometimes, people are just stupid. There's little use in getting upset when people do something you might have advised them against. Sometimes people just do things that are stupid. The most you can do is just be there for them when things go bad for them.

2. Your heart always has room for more. Sometimes, the best we can do is just love people. We may not understand them - because of their language, their culture, or what may it be. But, love is a universal thing and just being there for people is often times enough. And, your heart can always fit in another person, or two, or everyone on the planet. There's plenty of love to go around.

3. There is a universal language - one with gestures. A smile will always signify joy and be able to brighten the day of a complete stranger. If you don't know how to say a word in a language you are learning - get our your charade skills, everyone will get a chuckle and you might even learn a new word.

4. If you judge, you have no time to love. I almost learned this lesson the hard way. If you look through my latest album with pictures of my community service - you'll see I worked with mentally retarded people. As if this can't be stressing in America, add a cultural difference as well as a language barrier. Upon my visit to the site I wasn't sure if I could even stand it. I finished today my service there and I LOVED it. My patients are some of my favorite people in the world and I can't imagine my time here in Spain without them.

5. RELAX. As we say in Spanish: sin prisa pero sin pausa. That roughly translates to: without rushing but without pausing. At the end of the day, there will always be more homework, more work in general, and more things to be done. No use rushing to try to complete them. Take time to enjoy life. Get a coffee with friends, or alone, and just chill out. And do it every day. Siesta time here in Spain is one of the best ideas any culture has ever had. America has a thing to learn here - because we are all rushing towards the same ending. Life is for enjoying, not for working it to the end!

6. Seek out people from different backgrounds and love them. Many of you already know, or have come to learn, that my best friend here in Spain is Catholic (an actual practicing Catholic at that). My first impression of this dear friend could not have been any worse as I have had so many negative encounters with Catholics. I have learned so much from him, about his faith - the Catholic faith, and so much more. He's become a best friend to my life. All because I said that I wasn't going to give up on Catholics all together - each person is an individual and don't write people off for something small when each person is complex.

7. We are all humans on the inside. This is something I've always preached, but it's so different to see it and realize it. Sitting around with my host mom and listening to her express her feelings about losing her children and them moving away, about how she is going to pay her bills when money is tight, and how to ensure the best future for her children. And to my host siblings - worries about finding jobs in a tight economy, and busy with their studies always. On the inside, we're all the same.

8. Your dreams are achievable if you only work for them. Studying abroad has been my dream since I decided I was going to attend college. Yes, about six or seven years in the works this semester has been. And work it has been sometimes. Sometimes paperwork, sometimes research, sometimes tough relationship decisions, and other times it seems so easy - booking plane tickets and practicing your Spanish so you'll be able to communicate. Set your goals and work towards them. You'd be surprised what you can achieve if you only try.

9. The people who are meant to be in your life always be. Coming to Spain has made me realize who my real friends are. Random wall posts, e-mailed, and comments have made all the difference on bad days, and added a smile to a good day. In the days of technology, all those you want to talk to are almost always just a click away. But, you have to make that effort. I have had people I considered friends almost not talk to me at all while I was here, while I have had people I barely considered friends in contact with me nearly weekly. It's a real awakening to who cares to be friends when the going gets tough. Love for all I shall always have, but those who share that love with me when I am far away will forever have a special place in my heart.

10. Your life is your life, some things you can control and some things you can - don't be ashamed. One thing I've learned quite strongly here is that the past is the past, and what is done is done. There is little we can do about it, so talk about it freely. Don't dwell on it, don't rely on it - learn from it and move on. Each moment is a learning experience. Take from it exactly what you may.

11. Compassion makes the world go round. If you see someone having a bad day - do something small for them. Whether it be taking a friend out for a pastry so they can have the opportunity to vent and then move on, or just sitting there while a friend cries and then offer him/her a hug. Little things make the hard times more bearable.

12. We aren't alone, ever. Firstly, God is with us all, always. If you are truly lost and feel like you want to throw in the cards - maybe look to the man above for some guidance. I promise he will be there to help you. And, your friends will always be there. I will forever be in debt for the many hours I have just spent sitting with friends just talking about serious topics, joking topics, and all other topics because the memories that last forever are those that we carry with us everyday. Material things are worth little compared to the memories you'll always have. My friends here in Spain have made all the difference in this.

13. Remember to be independent. Be comfortable enough with yourself as a person that you don't have to rely on anyone else. If you want to do something and no-one wants to do it with you - who cares, do it anyway. Be emotionally aware of yourself - if you're having a tough time, be able to identify within yourself why. And if you need help - don't be afraid to ask for it.

14. Sometimes in life: check your pride. If your heart and your pride are in conflict with each other. Follow your heart. Your heart will lead you to happiness. For those of you who I've talked to about my job future, or lack their of know that I have struggled with this for so long. But, I've realized that teaching is where my heart lies and how society sometimes views that job can't be enough to hold me back. I'll just have to work to change that perception!

15. Get lost, because you find just find that it will be one of the best adventures ever. Don't be afraid to just walk in a general direction that you have no idea where you are going, because you might just find something very cool. In my many travels here, some of the best memories are from times when I have no idea where we were - up, down, sideways - and we stumbled across a cool monument, toy, or what may have it. Ditch the map and go where you want to go.

16. Sometimes the best plan is having no plan. My most recent, and final, trip here in Europe was probably my favorite. Why? Because we had almost no plan. We books plane tickets and a hostel and planned to visit one place before we left. From there - we arrived and just did what we wanted. We woke when we wanted, went to bed when we wanted, visited the places we wanted. Without having a plan, we saw so many things and did exactly what we wanted when we wanted to. Not having a plan opens you up to so many options - and the ability to enjoy some randomness along the way.

17. Alcohol. There is a time and a place, and a culture to consuming alcohol. It's not meant to dorm rooms where you have to sneak around a bottle so you don't get caught. It's meant to going out for a drink with friends and enjoying some each others company. And here in Granada exists the benefit of free food with your drink. Drinking isn't "cool" nor is not drinking "un-cool," rather spending quality time with friends and not being drunk out of your mind should be considered cool.

18. You will never find a support so strong as that which exists within your own family. You may have siblings, relatives, or whatever that you find completely annoying and repulsive, but for every one of them you have another family member who is equally as strong in the opposite direction. Take the time to learn from those who support you and leave be those who you may not fall well with.

19. Homesickness gets easier with time, believe it or not. The first time I was homesick - it was the worst feeling EVER. But then from time on it got easier and and easier. You learn how to feel close to those who are actually far away. And slowly the place where you are becomes your home. Granada has come to feel like my home. When I travel around Europe - there is no feeling better than returning to my apartment here in Granada.

20. If you have a serious problem, take 10 minutes and let it be the center of your life. Then get over it and move on - it's a big world and that problem can't possibly be as tragic as you may think. Give your problem a few minutes to seriously think about it, vent about it, curse it out, cry about it, whatever, but then move on. If you let something small ruin your day - you'll never get those minutes back.

21. Time is precious. As my good friend John Lennon once said: Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. Boy, was he right. My three+ months here in Europe have FLOWN by. Each weekend with a trip, or a plan and always planning for the next. It has made the time here go so fast that I almost can't even wrap my mind around that I have been here for three months. Appreciate all the time you have in all that you get the opportunity to do - because it'll pass faster than you ever thought possible!

22. Let others in, be vulnerable, because it just might work out. As so many of you know - I've always been a loving person. But that said - I "hold my cards very close to me", or "keep people an arms length away" or whatever phrase you may have. I can remember after the first weeks I was here and my host mother called me 'hijo' for the first time - meaning 'son'. I was so taken back, as I am obviously not her child and I talked to my best friend about it and he was like - you really have a problem letting people in don't you. Well, calling me out on it has made me very self-conscious about it. Since then - I've let my host mother call me that as well as let people in to parts of my life I'd always kept to myself. Being vulnerable may be scary, but being isolated is lonely.

23. We all learn similar lessons, but in such different ways. Talking with me friends here as made me realize that as very mature, and quite adventurous, twenty-some-odd year olds - we have learned so many of the same lessons, but all in different ways. We all learn some lessons the hard way, and others come easy. Don't think you're way was any more difficult or easier - because we're all individuals and faced with different challenges everyday.

24. Don't be afraid to tell life you've had enough and to slow down. And tell God the same thing. Because otherwise you keep getting more. And one of us are superhumans. Sometimes we just need a few minutes or days to sort things out and then continue on. Don't be afraid to admit that breaking point, it makes you stronger in the end.

25. If God brings you do it, he'll bring you through it. When you've absolutely had enough, know that there is a reason for you being where you are. Sometimes it has been quite difficult to be here in Spain when there are troubles with family or friends at home - yet, after the first few times of feeling bad about it I have come to realize that God will take care of them the same that he has taken care of me - he'll get us through the problems!

26. Returning to the topic of faith - we are all brothers and sisters of faith. Every Sunday here, or nearly every, I have gone to Catholic mass with my best friend. While not a Catholic, I still have so very much enjoyed going. Firstly, I have learned infinite amounts about the Catholic faith. And secondly, it has given me the opportunity to continue to grow in mine. Accept others' religion and grow and learn from it yourself. And love them all, just as God loves us all the same.

And last, 27. Take time to reflect. Where are you now? Where do you want to be? How are you going to get there? Taking a little time out of your day to think about yourself will help guide you to who and where you want to be.